When you are trying to influence someone, building up a picture of how you view them can be really useful. What is equally useful is an understanding of how they might perceive you. Get that wrong and it might not matter how powerful or strong your argument is, you are likely to be unsuccessful.

One of the ways we get people to understand others is to ask them which positive and negative adjectives can be used to describe the other person. This can be a quick and simple way to understand what you think is good and bad about the other person.

You can apply the same test to yourself. Try printing out this post and tick all the boxes below which you think apply to you. If you are feeling brave, get some of your co-workers to do the same thing and ask them to be brutally honest. 

A quick word of warning: if you ask yourself if you are "adaptable", your brain will actively seek examples of when you were. Most of us have been adaptable at some point in our lives. To get an honest answer you need to ask yourself not just how it applies but how it doesn't, and then come to a decision as to whether it really describes you. To get a really rounded picture you would need anonymous feedback from a few people matched against your own perception of which words fit.

When you've got a list, ask yourself which ones are the traits that come out the most often and that someone else might pick up. Then ask yourself how does this impact on situations you are currently trying to influence?

Positive

adaptable □ adventurous □ affable □ affectionate □ agreeable □ ambitious □ amiable □ amicable □ amusing □ brave □ bright □ broad-minded □ calm □ careful □ charming □ communicative □ compassionate □ conscientious □ considerate □ convivial □ courageous □ courteous □ creative □ decisive □ determined □ diligent □ diplomatic □ discreet □ dynamic □ easygoing □ emotional □ energetic □ enthusiastic □ exuberant □ fair-minded □ faithful □ fearless □ forceful □ frank □ friendly □ funny □ generous □ gentle □ good □ gregarious □ hard-working □ helpful □ honest □ humorous □ imaginative □ impartial □ independent □ intellectual □ intelligent □ intuitive □ inventive □ kind □ loving □ loyal □ modest □ neat □ nice □ optimistic □ passionate □ patient □ persistent □ pioneering □ philosophical □ placid □ plucky □ polite □ powerful □ practical □ pro-active □ quick-witted □ quiet □ rational □ reliable □ reserved □ resourceful □ romantic □ self-confident □ self-disciplined □ sensible □ sensitive □ sincere □ sociable □ straightforward □ sympathetic □ thoughtful □ tidy □ tough □ unassuming □ understanding □ versatile □ warmhearted □ willing □ witty □

Negative

aggressive □ aloof □ arrogant □ belligerent □ big-headed □ bitchy □ boastful □ bone-idle □ boring □ bossy □ callous □ cantankerous □ careless □ changeable □ clinging □ compulsive □ conservative □ cowardly □ cruel □ cunning □ cynical □ deceitful □ detached □ dishonest □ dogmatic □ domineering □ finicky □ flirtatious □ foolish □ foolhardy □ fussy □ greedy □ grumpy □ gullible □ harsh □ impatient □ impolite □ impulsive □ inconsiderate □ inconsistent □ indecisive □ indiscreet □ inflexible □ interfering □ intolerant □ irresponsible □ jealous □ lazy □ Machiavellian □ materialistic □ mean □ miserly □ moody □ narrow-minded □ nasty □ naughty □ nervous □ obsessive □ obstinate □ overcritical □ overemotional □ parsimonious □ patronizing □ perverse □ pessimistic □ pompous □ possessive □ pusillanimous □ quarrelsome □ quick-tempered □ resentful □ rude □ ruthless □ sarcastic □ secretive □ selfish □ self-centred □ self-indulgent □ silly □ sneaky □ stingy □ stubborn □ stupid □ superficial □ tactless □ timid □ touchy □ thoughtless □ truculent □ unkind □ unpredictable □ unreliable □ untidy □ untrustworthy □ vague □ vain □ vengeful □ vulgar □ weak-willed □